Mentors | ManMade

5 ways to engage boys in church

With an average of boys losing interest with Church and faith around the age of 12, compared to girls at 15. How do we keep boys engaged with Church and journeying in their faith?

There are some easy ways to keep boys engaged and interested. Although these of course can work for girls, boys will find that their experience of church is a better one, if leaders keep in mind these tools that help boys focus better and engage more. Although this may seem like stereotyping, let’s be clear that these ideas are not judgements on how all boys act, and are only designed to help keep methods at the forefront of our minds when planning groups, activities and events.

1. Boys learn by doing…

Reading out loud, sitting still and being talked don’t seem to come natural to most boys, especially after doing it all week in classrooms. But when accompanied with more engaging activities, there is a really difference in engagement. Making activities focused more around scenarios, debates, physical challenges and risk, does bring better engagement results in boys. You’ll fine that if you have more action points within your groups, boys will see it as a challenge to complete the tasks. The fine line is making sure the tasks are achievable as if to challenging, boys will feel defeated and be less engaged.

2. Boys need responsibilities…

Keeping busy helps any boy to stay focused, but if it’s also a job that requires responsibility and ownership, then boys will find a bit of purpose within the group and stay engaged more. There are many opportunities, jobs and tasks that you can offer… projector or sound operator, worship leading, games referee, group leader… Whatever it is, the young boy needs to feel empowered and needed. Then they will feel they are contributing in a positive way to the groups.

3. Boys emotions are different…

All boys have emotions, but tend not to be able to articulate them as well as girls do, sometimes out of fear our what other peers might think of them or not realising that one emotion has different sides to it. We can support this processing by helping them to think through the positives for them as guys. So as an example, when talking about love, which come across as romantic and soft. Focusing on a brotherly love or a bond that soldiers have as a band of brothers, shows that love has a bigger purpose than romance. The same goes with anger, an emotion stereotypically connected to boys for the wrong reasons. But when anger pushes you to fight against injustice, then it can fuel a boys cause to see change!

4. Boys need male role-models…

We need role-models in our everyday activities, but if boys in our churches don’t have male role-models to look up to, how are they going to grow into Godly men without seeing what Godly men look and act like? It is important to have male leaders in your groups, even if they are there to just fulfil a simple role, the presence of adult males can’t be underestimated as they will influence your boys within the group. For ideas to try and achieve growth in male leadership, check our post on ‘How to gain more male youth leaders‘.

5. Boys enjoy risk and challenge…

Many boys have a high testosterone level, and due to this can affect risk taking behaviour, leading to having higher activity levels and wanting to take action to feel like they are fixing the problem. It helps that when looking at topics and issues as subject matter for your groups, that you highlight things like justice, purpose and action to help boys realise that faith comes with risk and action.

Conclusion

There is obviously more effort needed to engage effectively with boys, and you can feel that as a leader overwhelmed with adding new elements to your groups. But if streamlined, the effort is worth it and can change the way boys continue to engage with faith and Church.

How to gain more male youth leaders

On average, only 37% of teachers are men in secondary schools; and in primary schools that figure is even lower at 15%.

That makes only 25% of all classroom teachers men. Men are not just less likely to become teachers – but also more likely to leave the job than women. With girls outperforming boys, particularly those from disadvantaged backgrounds, some say the gender imbalance of teachers matters.

When we look within the Church, we see the same type of stats throughout our children’s work, on average, boys lose interest with Church and faith around the age of 12, compared to girls at 15, again pointing maybe an imbalance due to leaders within our children’s and youth work.

So how do we encourage more male-models to join our groups and be envisioned to support boys in their faith journeys? Below are four general approaches that could to help you approach possible new male leaders.

Be intensional when selling the vision

Be honest about why you want them to join team and what the aim is. In this case it’s to specifically grow the lads you connect with to grow the male youth community. If men know there is a cause and reason you want them on team (rather than just a general helper), you’ll find that the challenge alone helps to provide a goal that is measurable by their efforts.

Have specific jobs that bring purpose

Generally, guys like to have something to do rather than spending time making conversation. In most cases conversation between men takes place most when doing something. So sometimes it’s important to have specific jobs to do. If you provide specific jobs to guys, it allows men to take something on and make it their own, while also getting alongside boys in conversation and encouraging them.

Provide responsibility to older male youth

A great asset we forget about is growing our younger male leaders within our older youth. When older boys are given responsibility its actually a chance for them to step up and be seen as role-models throughout the younger lads.

Allow pioneers to to try new things

Allow space for the guys on your team to be pioneering in improving that ways in which things are done. Guys generally like to fix and improve processes to make theirs and others lives easier.

10 Bible verses for encouraging Fathers

From Abraham and Jacob to David and Jospeh, fathers have come in many different forms and it is clear their relationship with God determines how well they set their sons on the right path with God.

Take some time as a father to read through 10 encouraging verses from the Bible that challenge us to live out fatherhood in an honouring towards God and our family.

Ephesians 6:4

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

Hebrews 12:7

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?”

Proverbs 23:24

“The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him.

Joshua 24:15

“But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Psalm 103:13

“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.”

Matthew 6:8

“Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

Proverbs 17:6

“Grandchildren are the crown of old men, and the glory of sons is their fathers.”

Colossians 3:21

“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”

Deuteronomy 1:31

“There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.”

Proverbs 22:6

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”